Friday, July 15, 2011

Chapter 5; Jade

It wasn't long before Leah began to show.  She was really excited about being a mother.  I on the other hand wasn't so excited.  I had no idea how to be a father.  I was going to be so focused on my career as well that I probably wouldn't even have time to help Leah raise the baby.
She wanted a girl so badly that she was willing to try out any rumor she'd heard, including staying on a watermelon only diet.
Even on maternity leave the woman couldn't sit still.  She was always on a cleaning frenzy and she was developing an obsession with cleaning.
She had a certain look in her eye every time she'd walk past me, it was like she could sense I was feeling trapped in this relationship.  Like she knew I was in love with Shanna, and not her.
It was getting obvious to both of us though, that things weren't exactly working out anymore.  We could be standing side by side, yet seem like we were in separate universes.
Eventually the time came, and Leah went into labor.  We were both terrified, but I rushed her to the hospital right away.
We came home a few days later with a baby girl.  Her name was Jade, Jade Grey.
It was weird holding Jade.  She was so small and fragile and I didn't like holding her because I was afraid I'd drop her.  I didn't have the slightest clue how to take care of an infant.  I never really planned on being a father and I was probably going to be a useless one.  Leah seemed to know what she was doing thankfully and she loved Jade more than anything.
But I did feel a connection with her, that fatherly bond every dad has for their child.  It was such a powerful feeling, and there weren't words to describe it.
Leah let me go to a party a few days later to have some fun and unwind.  I hadn't expected to see Shanna there but I was so happy she was.  We had a lot of catching up to do.

We talked outside of the house for the whole party just talking and catching up.  It turned out she had a boyfriend named Wesley.  I'd be lying if I claimed I wasn't jealous, but I was still with Leah.
But suddenly I did something I wished I'd done a long time ago, I finally let go of everything I'd been holding back and I kissed her.  This may have been a big mistake though, as it had completely slipped my mind that there were paparazzi watching us.  It had been caught on camera and was soon to be put all over the world in magazines and TV shows, that we had both cheated.
When I got home from the party, I had found a heart wrenching surprise.  There was a note taped to the fridge from Leah, the paper had marks and smears on it from what appeared to be tear drops.

Dear Damien,
They say if you love someone, let them go.  I want you to be happy, and you're not happy with me.  So, I'm letting you go.  Don't try to find me, by the time you read this I'll be long gone, back in my hometown hopefully.  I'm leaving Jade with you, I need a fresh start and it would be much too painful to bring her with.  I'll never forget you two.  Make sure Jade knows I love her more than anything.  If she ever asks, tell her I passed away when she was a baby.  I don't want her to know the truth.  You better take good care of her Damien, I'll find out if you don't.
Love,
Leah

I couldn't believe what I was reading.  Leah had left.  For good.  And I had to raise Jade alone now.
Sure enough Jade was laying in her crib and Leah was nowhere in the apartment to be found.  It was just us two from now on.  But I had no idea what to do.
But I was going to have to find a way.  For Leah, I would raise Jade to be the best she could possibly be, even if it killed me or my career.  I would be there to protect her and catch her whenever she falls.  She was my responsibility now, and I would make Leah proud.  It was the least I could do to repay her for letting me go.
 I was able to be with the one I had always loved now, I couldn't thank Leah more for that  However, Shanna didn't have the heart to break up with Wesley, and somehow the pictures the paparazzi had taken hadn't seemed to bother him at all.  I didn't want her to keep sneaking around his back though.
Jade looked more and more like her mother each day.  Jade had Leah's brown hair and light brown eyes.  She seemed to be healthy and quite smart, meaning I had to be doing something right.  Shanna did help me out a lot.  At times it was a hassle to find a last minute babysitter so I could get to work, but over all it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be.
Jade was the world to me.  She was the greatest gift I'd ever gotten, though it took a while to see it, I can't imagine my life without her.  I just wish Leah could see her.  I imagine it's probably killing her, not being able to see her own daughter.  I was so lucky.

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